Marriage: Dos and Don'ts

The importance of marriage in human life is immense. Marriage makes man responsible. Life brings comfort and tranquility through marriage, men and women are able to stay away from all sorts of wickedness. There is a continuation of human civilization in the world through marriage. In the legal and authorized way, people meet their biological needs only through marriage. In a way, there are great benefits and unavoidable benefits in marriage. It is said in the symbols of Allah that he created wives for you from you, and said, "Allah has made you wives for you." So that you may find peace with them. And he created love and mercy among you. Surely in this, there are signs for those who think.

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, 'You marry more loving and caring woman who gives you children because on the Day of Resurrection I will take pride in the prophets.

Therefore, it is important that marriage is an important religious practice. Therefore, when a person marries, he should get a clear idea of dos and don’ts of marriage.

Duties of marriage:

1- Put the right hand on the head of the wife's head in the house and read Dua: The Messenger of Allah () said, إذا أفاد أحدكم امرأة أو خادما أو دابة فليأخذ بناصيتها وليسم الله عز وجل وليقل اللهم إنى أسألك خيرها وخير ما جبلت عليه وأعوذ بك من شرها وشر ما جبلت عليه 'If any of you benefits from a woman, servant or a carriage (marriage or purchase), then he should take the head of her head and read Bismillah and say, ('O Allah, I pray for welfare of this and its nature from you, and I seek refuge in the evil of this and its nature.'

2- Husband and wife praying two rak'ahs together: Narrated by Abdullah bin Mas'ud, who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "When the wife goes to her husband, the husband will stand up." And the wife will stand behind him. Then they will offer two rak'ah prayers together and will say, 'O Allah, bless me with my family and bless me in for the family. Give me sustenance from them, O Allah, and provide for them from Me. O Allah, keep us together as long as you keep us together for the betterment and divide between us when you break apart towards a better way.

 3-Intercourse with the wife: The following Sunnah, during the period of sexual intercourse,           is Sunnah. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, لو أن أحدكم إذا أراد أن يأتي أهله فقال باسم الله اللهم جنبنا الشيطان وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا, فإنه إن يقدر بينهما ولد في ذلك لم يضره شيطان أبدا. 'If any of you say during intimating with wife, باسم الله اللهم جنبنا الشيطان وجنب الشيطان ما رزقتنا (O Allah, keep us away from Satan and keep away from what we are given.) if he is blessed with a child, Satan will never harm it. '

4-To abstain from prohibited time and place: Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "If anyone has intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus, he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad."

5- Ablution or bath before sleeping: After the intercourse bathing or doing ablution is good. Narrated by Ammar bin Yasar, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, 'The angels do not come to three people: the body of the disbeliever, the saffron user, and the unclean body, until he performs ablution.'

6- What is permitted with the wife during menstruation: Yes, the husband has the permission of all other behaviors except for vaginal intercourse with the wife when she menstruates. Everything is valid with the bathing after the wife becomes holy. Because Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said, اصنعوا كل شيء إلا النكاح. '... Everything can be done but not intercourse.

7- Purifying marriage intentions: Both men and women should decide to save themselves from haram by marriage. They will get the reward of charity. Because Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said, 'Your wife has a reward in her vagina. The disciples asked, "O Messenger of Allah, will any one of us satisfy his biological needs, and he will get a reward for it?" He said, 'Do you think that if he met this demand in an unlawful way, then he would not have committed any sin? (Certainly), so when he meets his biological needs by the lawful means, he is well-rewarded. '

8- Do not disclose the secret information of wife: Another act of a married person is not to disclose the secret information of the wife. Allah's Messenger (pbuh) said, “On the Day of Resurrection, the person will be considered the worst person in the sight of Allah, that who gets close to his wife and then he preaches the secret.

9-Feast: Another Sunnah of marriage is the giving of food to the people. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) inspires this work. 

10- Accepting a wedding invitation: If a person invites a marriage, then he should accept the invitation of Sunnah. The Messenger of Allah () said, إذا دعي أحدكم إلى الوليمة فليأتها. 'When someone is invited to a wedding, he should take part in it.' In another Hadith, he said, ومن لم يجب الدعوة فقد عصى الله ورسوله 'And whoever did not accept the invitation, he would have disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.' But going to a wedding, where unlawful programs happen is not allowed. e.g: music, male female mix gathering and so on.

11- Pray for the newly married couple: For the new couple, the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) used to make Dua for them. Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Whenever a man got married, Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, بارك الله لك, وبارك عليك, وجمع بينكما في خير 'May Allah bless you, bless you and meet you in both good times.'

B. unlawful matters to be avoided on marriage:

1- Wearing ring: Nowadays, the tradition of changing ring like a non-Muslim has entered the Muslim wedding. Shaikh Albani RA. In the book 'Adabuz Yiphf', it says, 'In reality, the disbelievers' reverence is revealed only. Because it is the traditional custom of Christians.

 2- Wasting and showing off: Many people put a lot of debt on their shoulders when they show ruggedness and do waste in marriage. And it is done in a different way. Such as:

 A. The expensive invitation card print for the wedding.

B. Hire the hotel and community center.

C. Buying garment for the wedding only, which is never put on later.

D Dissolve food, waste food, throw away, etc. In fact, for the sake of the honor of the guests, these are mainly for the expression of wealth and nobility.

E. Dancers at the wedding ceremony pour lots of money under the feet but many people are dying without eating.

F. Spend a lot of money on girls behind dresses. To show the man, change the expensive clothes repeatedly to the wedding ceremony.

 Dear brothers and sisters, stop a little from these things. Protect yourself and take account of yourself before God takes account. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, “The two feet of the son of Adam will not move from near his Lord on the Day of Judgement until he is asked about five (matters):- 1) about his life - how he spent it; 2) about his youth - how he took care of it; 3) about his wealth - how he earned it; 4) and where he spent it; 5) and about that which he acted upon from the knowledge that he acquired."

Ultimately, those who make every episode of their life in the form of the Qur'an and Sunnah and refrain from all kinds of prohibited acts, they are expected to be successful and Kamiyab. They will die with great fortune. In sha Allah .